Posts Tagged ‘careers’

You Are Where You Are, and You’re Moving Up

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

by Kathy Caprino, M.A.

I’ve had some very interesting revelations this week about my business as it is today, and about those individuals with whom I resonate best and most, and where I dream to take my work in the next five years.

Here’s what I realized:

1) I am where I am – that feels good

After an 18-year corporate career that was outwardly very “successful” but inwardly a very deep and long-lasting struggle, I spent eight years reinventing and transformed to a new professional identity I love.  I then became an “expert” and advocate of women’s reinvention, because that’s exactly what I’d done well -  breaking through the 12 “hidden” crises working women face today, and reclaiming my life.  I conducted a national research study with over 100 women to learn more about how to break through crisis and transform, and I wrote a book about it to help others do the same.  It’s been all about breaking through.

2) But now I want to go somewhere else – and that feels better

Now, however, I want something else, something more than breakthrough, to offer others.  I consider myself “successful” both inwardly and outwardly, but now I am committed to ABUNDANT success – tremendous, free-flying, fantastic success (in key dimensions that matter to me) that blows my socks off with joy, fulfillment and empowerment.  I’m committed to creating a fantastically successful life and career.  I have new dreams – clear, crisp, and shiny.

To create/achieve that, I need more – more of myself, more knowledge, more insight, more strength, more energy, more perspective, more focus, and more risk.  To access that in myself, I’m doing what I love best to inspire me, yet again.  I’m reaching out to women I admire deeply - those who consider themselves abundantly success on their terms – and I’m learning from them.  I’ve found there are no better teachers than those you respect and admire who are doing what you’d like to, how you’d like to do it.

This week, I launched a new national research study Women Succeeding Abundantly – How and Why They Do It, and already, after just two interviews – Shama Kabani and Janet Hanson  –  my socks have been blown off.  Why?  Because what I expect to hear from folks who’ve achieved something that I admire, is never what I end up hearing and learning.  It’s all very new and different from what I assumed.  (Stay tuned for more on these powerful interviews).

It reminds me of a conversation I had with my sister when she was in high school and I in middle school.  She was imparting to me her pearls of wisdom about dating and popularity, and told me that where people stood in the dating pool resembled being on a rung of a big, universal ladder – you are where you are, but you want to date someone who is one rung higher than you (that’s the dream anyway).  And you don’t want to go down a rung on your ladder!

Funny, I feel like I’m on a ladder – not one about popularity or “hierarchy” but an “energetic” ladder representing where I am and where I want to go.  I’m standing on my rung, arms outstretched, reaching toward my next rung – my future self — and am looking up, smiling and breathless.  I’m seeing on this rung other tremendously successful and empowered women who have carved out a BIG life on their terms, and are loving it and making it work abundantly. 

These women are having fantastic success in the key aspects of their lives that they care most about – whether that’s family, home, personal, professional, financial, relationships, well-being, creativity, intimacy, contribution  – you name it, they’re doing it.  These women don’t subscribe to the notion that they can’t have it all – they simply don’t see it that way.  They believe in choosing to commit to the areas that mean the world to them, and then they going after these goals/outcomes with boundless gusto and commitment.

The lesson for me in all of this is – At any given moment, each of us is vibrating at certain energetic “level” that brings to us and creates in our lives exactly what we’re ready for, deep-down.  But then – suddenly and inexplicably — we want more and we want different, and we’re ready to create it.

So it’s time.  I want to step up to the next rung of the ladder of my life, to create abundant success.  I’m ready for the chin-up.  Are you?  Yes!!  Please come up with me!

Question of the week: What do you feel you’re ready for now – what’s your next “rung?”  What do you see for yourself and your life when you step onto that rung?  And will you commit to stepping up to it now?

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“We’d Rather Die Than Be Divided”

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Kathy Caprino, M.A.

This past Wednesday, I attended a very powerful and moving event in Greenwich, CT, hosted by 85 Broads.  It was an inspiring forum and gathering of trailblazing women, all of whom want to make a difference - no matter how small or large — in the world around them.

Whether they’re impacting law, finance, politics, technology, corporate policy, fashion, or non-profit, each attendee has a dream to not only succeed abundantly, but also help other women and impact the world in the process.

Marie Wilson — President and Founder of The White House Project was the featured speaker, and my God, what a powerful individual, women’s advocate , and speaker she is.  She shared many riveting stories and vital information about the state of women in political leadership today, and how sorely lacking the U.S. is in representation of women in leadership.

The story that touched me most deeply, however, was about a group of young girls, 12 years of age or so, in Rwanda.  Marie tells of these girls who were gathered together in their classroom in school, when suddenly insurgents crashed into their classroom with guns flying, and demanded that the girls divide themselves (ostensibly for the purpose of selecting who would be killed and who spared).

The girls sat completely motionless, saying nothing.  The gunman screamed again, “DIVIDE YOURSELVES!”  Again the girls did not move or speak. 

After a few long moments, one lone little girl replied, “We would rather die than divide ourselves.”

The moment I heard this story, I realized something that shook me.  We in this country divide ourselves constantly - we make others wrong, we judge and criticize, and put ourselves above others (or beneath them), we distance ourselves and create walls around us - as a constant practice.

What is needed most today — among women and among all human beings — is connection, community and commitment.  Connection - so that we can feel more for each other’s experiences, and can demonstrate compassion, empathy and validation.  Community -  because we can do so much more together than we can do alone, and being together uplifts us.  And finally - commitment.  It doesn’t matter what you “want” in life - what matters is what you’re truly committed to creating.

“We would rather die than be divided.”  That’s a principle that I am now committed to living by.

Thank you, Marie Wilson, and Janet Hanson of 85 Broads for reminding us that community, connection, and commitment changes the world.

What are you committed to creating in your life, and where can you find connection and community to support you?

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How to Make Decisions That Are Ultimately Right for You

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Kathy Caprino, M.A.

My wonderful coaching clients ask me frequently, “How do I know if this is the right step?  I’m just so confused.” 

To get clear on the next step to take that will be ultimately beneficial for you, answer these three questions first, then move on the path to making your decision.

There are three powerful questions to consider before you address any significant decision:

1) Do you have enough information to make this decision?  If not, get it.

2) Is it the right time to make this decision – if not, then wait.  If so, take the steps listed below.

3) How important is this decision?  If it’s not at all important to your life, stop agonizing, and use your gut to tell you what direction to go in, and just do something.

If the time is right to make your decision, and you have enough information to do it, then follow this process:

1) Shift your mindset about decisions and next steps

First, disengage yourself from needing to believe that there is an ultimate “right” outcome to anything.  There isn’t.  Life is a cycle, a process, a flow, not a final destination.  You’ll never “get there.”  It’s all about experiencing life fully, NOW, and loving it.  Forget about outcome, and look at “process” – explore what you think this step will bring to you, along with the process of living that this step will allow you to engage in.  In other words, will this next step encourage you to grow, stretch, be excited, enlivened, and expand yourself?  If so, there’s a great deal of benefit in it.

2) How does it make you feel to consider it?

In my marriage and family therapy training, one professor said that “feeling” is the “F” word – because a therapist and client talking just about feelings can be a slippery slope of not leading to any interventions that truly help a person move forward.

In this case, however, gaining awareness of how you feel is vitally important.  Watch yourself as you explore this next step or potential decision.  Do you feel energized, excited, with your heart beating?  Or do you feel like taking a nap, exhausted, depressed and hopeless.  How you feel, and the shifts in your energy level when you’re evaluating a potential decision are highly indicative of what your heart and soul really want to do.

3) Look at what holds you back – is it all fear-based?

Write out all the pros and cons to the decision you’re facing.  Then look at the cons…are they all fear-based (“what if”, anxiety-ridden thinking)?  If so, you’re most likely getting stuck in your limited beliefs and ego-based thinking that tell you that you simply can’t embrace this challenge or step because you’ll fail or the unknown is too scary.  The unknown doesn’t have to be scary – if you embrace it as a way to be more of yourself.

4) What does your intuition/gut tell you to do?

Decisions are best made when you combine logical, linear thinking with intuitive-based wisdom that comes from a higher place.  Your logical thinking helps you identify all the pros and cons (see #3) from an intellectual perspective, but your intuition has a farther-reaching view, one that sees a bigger picture of who and where you truly want to go, and what you’re capable of. 

Get in closer touch with your internal guiding wisdom and intuition.  Start today by developing a deeper inner dialog.  Ask questions of yourself on a continual basis, and listen for the answers, then follow them!.  Begin by asking simple “yes” or “no” questions (should I take this route or that one to get to my destination, should I stop here or wait a bit, etc.), and begin hearing what your intuition tells you.  Find the place in your body where your feel your intuition most (your gut, throat, back of your neck, heart, etc.) and begin incorporating the messages of your intuition in every decision you make.

*  *  *  *  *

Ultimately, each decision you make is the right one, because you made it, and you did your best at the time, and because it inevitably led to something that was important for you to experience.  Going forward, make your decisions with fuller awareness, choice, and a belief that everything you experience will ultimately lead to something greater in yourself.  Then, every decision will feel like (and be) the right one. 

If you have a decision to make today: get the info you need, don’t make assumptions about what you’re capable of, do your best, stop worrying, and start living.

Question of the week: What decisions have you made that at first seemed to be a mistake, but later opened up great new possibilities for you?

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Why You Can’t Find Balance – and Why You Won’t, Until You Take These Steps

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Lately, I’ve been asked to coach and speak with hundreds of working women each month around the issue of work-life balance and time management. 

Women are more stressed, strained and sick than ever, as these economic times have hit families, workplaces and corporate America so very hard.  If women’s plates were full before, now they’re piled sky-high, and teeter-tottering on the edge of the table, ready to crash onto the floor, breaking into a million pieces.

I have strong viewpoints (founded by years of direct high-level corporate experience, coaching work with thousands, and national research with women) about work-life balance and why women can’t have it as their lives are today, unless they claim it.

My views aren’t easy to hear or take in, but are important for women nonetheless, so here they are:

You won’t ever have work-life balance or come even close to it, unless you power yourself up to get it.  Here’s what’s necessary:

1) You’ve got to fight for it.

If you’re in corporate America at a mid to high level, for instance, and are being asked to do the impossible (do the work of three people, work until 3am, produce reports and analyses that are an utter waste of time but take hundreds of collective hours each month to prepare, come in for 8am meetings that are meaningless, and unproductive, etc.), then you MUST speak up.  You must fight for what’s right and sensible and good business practice.  If your team is breaking down and so are you, then you simply can’t continue this way.  You must speak up and fight.

If you can’t speak up on your own (because you’ll be crushed down by the machine), then find another way to make your voice heard.  Build a collective forum of women who can speak together, or find empowered female and male mentors and leaders who can speak for you.  Or go outside the company to networking meetings and events (and by the way, continually interview at other companies to keep your options and your mind open), and learn from others how they are making a positive difference, and making it work.

(FYI, for those men and women who wish to be advocates for other women in their workplaces, here is a list of initiatives that employers must take to support women in the workforce today).
 
Things won’t change unless you fight for them to.  Fight for what’s right and necessary for your health, sanity, and for good business practice, or you’ll end up feeling so exhausted, beaten down, and demoralized that you’ll drop out of the game.  That’s fine, if you’re doing it consciously, with awareness and choice. 

Which path do you want to take?  Which path do you consciously choose?  I know you believe you don’t have any options right now, but you always have options and choices.  Figure out what they are.

2) You’ve got to ask for help at home, and deal with the consequences

You simply can’t feel healthy and balanced when you’re working like a dog at your job, and then come home and work like a dog there too.  It’s not possible.

You must ask your spouse, children and others for support, to do their share, to step up to their responsibilities as fully-functioning members of the household.  And/or you need to hire help where it’s essential and where you can.  Your husband may complain and say he can’t do any more.  If that’s what he says, it’s critical to sit down together and analyze at the distribution of labor, and make it fairer.  It’s up to you to do this.  He won’t volunteer for this.

If you’re an overfunctioner (doing more than what’s necessary, healthy or appropriate – and the vast majority of women are), then your family and friends are used to you overfunctioning, and they (subconsciously) don’t want you to stop. 

You have to shift yourself first – internally – and commit to stop doing too much, and decide what you’ll scale back on, then do it.  Next, you’ll have to deal with your family’s initial anger and anxiety that suddenly, you’re not doing everything.  It destabilizes the family dynamic at first, when you shift into doing only what’s appropriate — not more — and it’s not easy.  But you’ll find a new stability, and they’ll get over it, and so will you. 

You’ll feel better, stronger, happier, less angry, and more like yourself again when you stop doing EVERYTHING.  But you must strengthen your boundaries so that you can handle the fear, insecurity, guilt and shame you’ll feel initially at not being everything to everyone.

3) Stop being angry and start being accountable.

Finally, it’s time to stop feeling angry, disrespected, depressed, resentful, overburdened, victimized, and powerless.  If you experience these emotions regularly, your life is asking you to grow, strengthen, and be accountable for how you are living and what you’re creating.  No more excuses.

I know how hard this is to accomplish.  Just this morning, I blew it again, and got really angry for doing more than I should have for my children – I should have asked my husband to step in and help, but I didn’t ask.  That’s a common trait in me that I must be ever vigilant to detect, weed out, and revise.  I tend to get angry and yell when I’m overwhelmed and exhausted, but after I calm down, I see clearly how I simply offered (out of feeling like I HAD to) to do too much that day, and then blamed everyone else for it.  This type of behavior is very deeply rooted and dies hard, let me tell you.

So, my friends, today’s the day.  Let’s all figure out for ourselves:

1) What specifically and concretely you are angry and exhausted about
2) What are you taking on that’s too much – more than is healthy, appropriate and necessary
3) Why are you doing it?  What are your deepest fears around not doing everything, and being everything? What consequences are you deeply afraid of, if you say “no”?
4) To whom do you need to speak up?  What must you let go of?
5) If you’re in a job that chronically works you to the bone, and no one listens to your pleas and demands for moderation, I’d suggest this:

•  Figure out what you really want for your professional and family life
•  Look at the real options at hand – get yourself out of your box and look at what’s truly possible
•  Make a plan to get what you want
•  Power Up and Stand Up for yourself - strengthen yourself, your voice and your boundaries
•  Find an empowered outside helper/mentor/coach to help you create the life you really want

Today’s action step – Don’t waste another minute blaming someone else.  It’s your life – claim it.  What one person, action, or limiting, negative belief can you say NO to, today?

Please share!

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The Differences Between a Man and Woman’s Perspective on Happiness

Monday, October 19th, 2009

By Kathy Caprino, M.A.

“9 out of 10 women studied are experiencing at least one of the 12 crises working women face today, and over half don’t know what to do about it.  On average, working women are experiencing three crises at the same time.”

These 12 emotionally-devastating crises stand in the way of happiness, are not the same for women as for men.  If “happiness” is an experience of living well, liking yourself and what you’re doing, feeling excitement, joy and fulfillment during many of the days of your life, and feeling “in the flow,” the truth is this: the 12 hidden crises are preventing women from achieving happiness, and it won’t get better unless women take strong and focused action.

As one who works with women all day every day, and as a woman, mother, and high-level professional myself, I have very solid views on what women think and experience in terms of happiness. 

Women’s definition of happiness and their challenges in achieving happiness, are very different from men’s.

Here are some key differences between men and women’s experience of happiness:

1) Work-Life Balance – The Number One Crisis for Women, Not for Men

Women need to experience a sense of balance between their professional and personal identities to feel happy.  Because so many women work both inside the home and outside of it, these two colliding roles (and yes, they crash together powerfully in women more so then men) – and doing them well with a feeling of empowerment — are vitally important to women’s sense of success and happiness.

In Marcus Buckingham’s stimulating column on the Huffington Post about Women’s Happiness, he talks about women believing that there’s no such thing as balance anymore.  He writes that, according to the women he interviewed, “They didn’t talk about balance much at all. They seemed to realize that not only was a perfect equilibrium nigh on impossible to achieve, but also that even if they did manage to achieve it, it wouldn’t necessarily fulfill them anyway–when you are balanced, you are stationary, holding your breath, trying not to let any sudden twitch or jerk pull you too far one way or the other. You are at a standstill. Balance is the wrong life goal. “

I, and the women I speak with, see it very differently.  Women are struggling and deeply longing for balance, in ways men can’t relate to.  Why?  Because women are still shouldering the majority of domestic responsibility, including child and elder care, while holding down jobs.  They are handling much more of the work inside the home, and they are connected viscerally and emotionally to their success (and perfectionism) as caregiver in different ways than men are. 

Women feel more angst and guilt about what they are doing or not doing.  Women are chronic “overfunctioners” – and men are not.  They beat themselves up for what they are not doing well enough, and for focusing on themselves and their careers rather than their family life.  Why is this? I believe it’s about cultural training, expectations, role modeling, and a bit about hardwiring when it comes to women’s emotions, brain functioning, values, needs, and instincts around caring for their children.

Balance for women doesn’t mean inertia – it means knowing what you love, doing it, and not eating yourself alive with guilt about what you are aren’t accomplishing when you’re focus on one thing (work), not the other (family) and vice versa. 

Lack of balance is the most severe crisis of the 12 hidden crises women are facing.  The balance women striving for is not “a pie in the sky” dream – it’s an essential component of a happy life – a sense of empowered equilibrium in which women are standing strong and stable on equal footing, giving priority to what they care about and love, without falling apart in the process.  If women have given up on that, then they’ll fail at being happy.

2) “White Male Competitive Career” Model Is Breaking Women

Further, at the risk of alienating some of my male readers, as a women’s advocate I must state this well-researched phenomenon - women’s inability to achieve balance is made more challenging by the existing “white male competitive career model” in place today in corporate America. 

Basically, the model has been constructed with underlying assumptions that successful professionals must adhere to the following rules: 1) follow a linear career path (no off-ramping and on-ramping), 2) focus on “full time” and “face time”, 3) commit most intensively to their career development in their 30s and 40s (when many women are having babies), and 4) feel motivated best and most by power and money.

These are generalizations, yes, but overall, there is strong evidence that the male competitive career model in American today is a complete misfit and damaging for women, and it needs to be shifted to embrace and honor women’s needs and values (click here for suggested employer initiatives that will address this ill-fitted model for women). 

What can women do to address these crises, and experience more happiness?

This is not a quick fix – it’s a breakthrough process that takes time, energy, and commitment, but it works.  When women take the following actions, they experience more happiness and fulfillment in their lives and work:

1) Grow stronger in identifying what really matters to you, uniquely and specifically

2) Tune out what others tell you (men and women) about how to live your life – be your own expert on your happiness.  Trust yourself.

3) Honor your values and needs from an empowered stance at work and at home – step up and take charge of yourself. Stop making excuses.

4) Evaluate your family situation realistically. Ask for (demand, if necessary) a more fair distribution of the domestic responsibility.

5) Stop overfunctioning and let go of perfectionism – focus hard on want you care about deeply, and let go of perfectionism in what you don’t care as much about.

6) Speak up and take action to bring about shifts at home and at your place of work and in the existing career model, so that they embrace and honor your needs and values

7) Identify what your “ideal” life looks and feels like. Get empowered outside help to create a success action plan, with concrete goals and outcomes, to achieve your life visions.

Say Yes! to your happiness.  You can do it!

There are 11 more crises women face today that men do not experience in the same way as women.  Crises for women are characterized by “I can’t do this” thinking –  a negative mantra that keeps them sad, sick and stuck.  While men experience some of these same crises, women internalize and process them differently, and each of these crises prevents women’s happiness. 

Here is a sampling of the 12 hidden crises of women today:

- Suffering from chronic health problems    
Failing health—a chronic illness or ailment—that won’t respond to treatment 

The mantra: “I can’t resolve my health problems.”
  
-  Losing your “voice”   
Contending with a crippling inability to speak up—unable to be an advocate for yourself or others, for fear of criticism, rejection, or punishment
 
The mantra: “I can’t speak up without being punished.”

- Facing abuse or mistreatment    
Being treated badly, even intolerably, at work—and choosing to stay

The mantra: “I can’t stop this cycle of mistreatment.”

- Feeling trapped by financial fears      
Remaining in a negative situation solely because of money

The mantra: “I can’t get out of this financial trap.”

- Wasting your real talents  
Realizing your work no longer fits and desperately wanting to use your natural talents and abilities

The mantra: “I can’t use my real talents.”

- Doing work you hate
Longing to reconnect with the “real you”—and do work you love

The mantra: “I can’t do work that I love.”

Be Your Own Happiness Expert - Take My Breakthrough Challenge!

Please take my challenge this month - Ask yourself, then 10 women and 10 men you know the following questions:

1) How do you define “happiness?” 
2) Are you experiencing happiness, by and large?
3) If not, what gets in the way?
4) If you are experiencing happiness on a regular basis, how do you achieve it?

Compare the answers between men and women, and let me know what you learn.

Key questions for the week – What do YOU think are the differences between men’s and women’s views and experiences of happiness?  How are men and women different in achieving happiness as they define it, and what does that difference mean to you?  Finally, how can women achieve more happiness in their lives? 

Please share your views!  A diverse, open, and constructive dialogue is the first step to breakthrough.

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Can You Make a Good Living Being a Life Coach?

Monday, October 12th, 2009

by Kathy Caprino

Running a coaching and consulting company dedicated to helping women achieve breakthrough in their lives and work, I meet thousands of folks each year who want to reinvent, many of whom are considering launching a coaching or consulting practice, or other small business of their own.  They long to transition into coaching for solid reasons, and many come with great, top-level experience. 

As a career consultant, I help people evaluate if launching a coaching practice or other venture seems a viable step for them first by conducting a thorough assessment of their goals, abilities, preferences, personality, values, mission, purpose, and long-term plans.  As my book publicist Patti Danos asked me when I was launching my book Breakdown, Breakthrough, I ask my clients, “What do you want, and what do you really want, in doing this?”

After such an assessment, I have often recommended in the past, “Looks like it makes sense at this time to move forward, and that you’ve got a strong grasp of what’s required.  Go for it!” 

Now, however, in these intensely challenging times, I ask this new question, “Are you ready and able to do what it takes to make this successful? Are you 3000% committed?”

About becoming a coach, the average income of a life coach in the U.S. today is between $30,000 - $40,000.  Only 10% to 20% or so make six-figure incomes, and many more life coaches don’t make anywhere near $30,000.  It’s not an easy path, and clients simply will not fall in your lap.  Success requires time, action, commitment, and a good number of top level skills to differentiate yourself, and to generate a large enough community to continue to fill your pipeline of paying clients.

A coach from the largest coaching organization in the world told me last week that of all the folks that reach out to them to pursue coaching, only 40% are truly “coachable,” and of those, only 30% end up signing up for services.  Those stats apply to my business as well.

I realized something this week that feels like a real “aha” to me – coaching is for a group or culture that is at the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – the level of self-actualization.  Today, however, our economic strife has pushed millions of people us down several levels of the hierarchy – to the level of “safety” — so that their primary focus now is on financial safety and security. 

If you’re interested in starting a practice/business as a life coach during these times, I’d ask you to seriously evaluate yourself, your abilities and talents, your passion for this, and your commitment to launching and maintaining a thriving practice/business.  These questions apply to you if you’re considering any entrepreneurial, small business, or consulting endeavor as well:

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What must I earn each year, to achieve the standard of living I need?  What have I earned before (and if I want to top that, what will I do differently)?

• What’s my risk tolerance?  Can I tolerate a lack of stability, fluidity, and security?

• What is my relationship with money today?  How do I deal with it, earn it, save it, invest it and grow it?  Are my actions around money, and feelings, and views powerful and healthy?  Are you committed to making the living you want?

• What is motivating me – consciously and subconsciously – to want to be a life coach?  Is there anything I’m running from that I need to address first?

• If I do everything I can to make my practice work for three to five years, and $30,000 remains my income, will this be acceptable and viable for my life and family?  If not, what will be my plan to grow myself, my knowledge and skill set — to be part of the minority segment of high-earners in the coaching field?

• Do I have the abilities, courage, confidence, perseverance and commitment to undertake all the facets of running a thriving practice/business, including: client development, networking, social media, marketing, branding, speaking, workshops, writing, business and financial leadership, and providing top-notch client services – all in one?  If not, where will I get support, learn new skills, and how will I fund this growth?

• Am I able to figure out what I don’t know or what I’m not good at, and get help all along the way to fill in my knowledge, power, and business gaps?

• Are you ready to give up a “build it and they will come” mentality, and step up to what it takes to run a successful business/practice?

• Finally, what are you looking for – a job or a calling?

I ask you to address these questions not to discourage you from following your dreams, but to present a realistic picture of what’s essential in running a successful business today.  If you conduct a deep exploration of your answers to these questions and come up ready to move forward to pursue life coaching as your career, fantastic!!  If not, then perhaps other avenues and outcomes of career reinvention are more suited to you, and will make you happier and more fulfilled.

If you do wish to move forward into life coaching, I’d say it’s time for you to explore it further and embrace the possibility. 

Here are some first great steps:

1) Research, research, research what it will take (start first with the International Coach Federation) and explore training programs, resources, and other coaches’ businesses and models.  Find a successful life coach to hire who could serve as your mentor business coach.  My specific tip here: Use a business coach who has already achieved what you long to.  (For info on the difference between a “mentor” coach and an “implementation” coach, stayed tuned to my upcoming posts.)

2) Get powerful with your money today – don’t wait.  Gain a thorough grasp of your financial situation – what you need to earn, what you spend, what you can cut back on, how you will fund your reinvention, and so on.  Get a great financial consultant to help you sort out your situation, and set realistic, stretching goals.  Get out of denial, and get powerful with your finances.

3) “Go where the energy is” – observe yourself in the process of exploring this path.  Does it feel exciting, energizing, enlivening, or daunting and discouraging?  For you to make a go of this, the predominant feeling needs to be excitement, possibility, and passion.

4) Receive training and education  – nothing moves us forward faster than powerful training and education to help us be and know more than we do today.  Don’t skip that step.  Coaching training and business skill development are absolutely vital to teach you how to be the best coach, and business owner, you can be.

5) Develop a sound business plan with concrete marketing strategies.  Find a great non-profit organization (such as SCORE the Women’s Business Development Center, or Count Me In) in your area, to help you create powerful business and marketing tactics, and a plan, to make your endeavor successful.

6) Finally, take my four steps to breakthrough:
- Step Back for an empowered outside perspective on where you are, and what you dream of doing

- Let Go of the thinking, behaviors, and patterns that have been keeping you stuck and holding you back in the past

- Say Yes! to your compelling visions.  If you really want to do this, then commit yourself 3000% to doing what it takes to be successful.

- Create It!  Develop a solid plan, complete with goals, outcomes, and milestones against which to measure your progress.  If you don’t plan it, you’ll have a very tough time creating it, or generating the necessary energy you need to build it.

For added support, sign up for my newsletters and my blog on career and life breakthrough to give you some ongoing assistance and resources.

Life coaching is a fabulously exciting and rewarding field.  Here’s to embracing your inner (and outer) coach, and being financially and emotional successful doing it!

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The Real Deal with Women Today

Monday, September 21st, 2009

As so much national research is revealing, women are sadder and sicker than ever before, and more so in midlife than in other times of their lives. 

 

Here’s recent Huffington Post piece about the sad and shocking truth about women.

 

There’s speculation abounding about why, but no real answers.  Further, with men still being named the research experts on women (so irksome!), the headway is slow in uncovering the real truth.

 

Based on my seven years of research with thousands of women nationwide, there are seven hidden reasons why women are struggling deeply today, and failing to find success, health, joy, or purpose:

 

1)       An Ill-Fitted Career Model: The current competitive career model simply doesn’t fit women

 

2)       An Extreme Overload: The current gender roles don’t work – women are still doing the vast majority of domestic responsibility even when they work or are the primary breadwinners

 

3)       “Who can I look up to?”  There are very few female role models – from the past or present — of successful, happy, powerful and healthy women who work and raise a family

 

4)       “I’m not supposed to!”  Women are culturally trained NOT to do the things required of them to lead happy, healthy, powerful lives (including: speaking up, feeling confident and powerful, displaying self-esteem and leadership, knowing what you want and having an intensive focus in getting it, putting yourself first, etc.)

 

5)       “What do I choose?” Women are paralyzed by all the options in front of them (children, work, domestic responsibilities, rising to high ranks, working out of the home or in, having their own business vs. corporate job, etc).

 

6)       “I’m ashamed.” – Women feel guilt and shame about where they are and what they feel today, and about pursuing steps that will help them gain power and self-actualization

 

7)       Women Are Tough on Women – Women are very hard on themselves and other women — critical and punishing in their actions and beliefs — especially to other women.  Why?  Because they’re struggling and have been for years, and people who are in pain and struggling are not generous and giving.

 

All of these obstacles hit women hard.  Men do not face these crises in the same ways. 

 

Wake up world!!  Women are radically different from men and that’s a good thing!  They differ in their values, priorities, dreams, styles, visions, but they’re told somehow that it’s not ok to be different.  Women are struggling hard, but ashamed of their differences, and continually hide or deny their suffering.

 

The time is now!  Let’s help women step up to what they truly want, to create a breakthrough in how they live and work.  For this to happen, women must accept who they are authentically, power up and step up to get what they want, and stop making excuses.

 

It’s time for women to give themselves permission to choose the life of their dreams, and get 3000% committed to having it!

 

Please reach out today (crisis is the perfect time to reinvent) if you need a breakthrough in your life.  Take advantage of my FREE 30-minute coaching strategy call to help you 1) gain clarity on what you want, 2) understand what’s holding you back, 3) create a powerful plan to achieve your goals. 

 

Every day you don’t move toward breakthrough, is a day that’s stolen from your life.  What are you waiting for?

 

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